On my voyage of self discovery I have found out many interesting things, quite a lot about me and a fair few about other things in the universe, I wont bore you with all of them now (im too lazy to write that much, and its not all that interesting)

 

But here is the wisdom of the Owen

 

1)      Even when things suck politeness makes things better

2)      Zoos are always a good way to recover

3)      A plan is always a good thing to have

4)      A real man cant have too many lists

5)      Random crap happens some of the time, if it happens all of the time something really wrong

6)      90% of the adverts on discovery channel you never want to call, trust me it’s a bad move

7)      Diet drinks aren’t good for you, unlike horrible tasting medicine or documentation

8)      The IQ in a support call stays constant

9)      Everyone is an asshat some of the time, some of us do it more often than they should

10) To paraphrase Tom Clancy “the Russians don’t go for a dump without a plan”, having a plan is good, even if its as broad as “im not going to get hit by a bus or become homeless”

11) All the best rock music was written before 1993

12) 1986 was a good year for films

13) Thirteen comes after 12 and before 14

14) Sorry is one of the hardest words to say, but when you say it you need to mean it

15) Please and thank you are easy words to say

16) Im rubbish at dancing, if I ever start please direct me towards the nearest smoking area or bar

17) Going out for a cigarette and forgetting that you still have beer left is a silly thing todo

18) Its called overtime not all the time (thanks to pizza for reminding us that)

19) Make time to talk to people, it might be a dishwater moment but it’s a nice thing to do

20) Its always a good day if you can make a baby smile at you. This doesn’t mean you should go and randomly try and make babies smile at you, so don’t run up to random babies and see if they will smile at you. You will be locked up or beaten

21) I am just a fool, a fool in love

22) MJF mimes playing the guitar badly, but we love him and all his films

23) Information is king, knowing what the hell is going on is always a goodthing™

24) Being crushed by your own pile of beer bottles is not a good way to die

25) Irobot, send me a roomba, I cant afford a maid and im sure I can write a nice review for you (if it doesn’t suck, in a bad product sort of way)

26) Anyone got any news on hewy lewis? (bad BTTF joke)

27) Loraine Reid at t-mobile handset replacements (and her coworker mike who’s last name I forget) are really great and deserve a raise or a bonus or at least a pat on the back, they did go the extra mile for me and im a happy chappy

28) MMC Smart should have set the speed limiter to 88 mph, it increases the comic effect in the car

29)  Media center should remember when you pause something and not just delete it when the next program starts

30) There is a black art to being able to call someone an idiot and them saying thank you, you learn it when doing techsupport

31) All tech support people are called Bob, its an in joke, but don’t phone demon internet and ask to talk to bob

32) Is 3 times a lady about a fat bird or about someone who thought “im a girl, I want to be a boy” a few times and had random amounts of operations

33) Im running low on ideas, don’t eat yellow snow

34) This is a repeat, lines are now closed

 

Yay, 33 really quality bits of advice, and one random one, I bet you cant guess which one it is