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Written by beersoft
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Monday, 13 November 2006 |
EYES ONLY - CONFIDENTIAL
After some drinking we (the management) have decided on a new company policy, the new rules will take affect as of 3 weeks ago, failure to follow the rules will result in hourly sack beatings
the new company rules are the following:
working hours: spend as much time in the office as possible, leaving before you have worked 10 hours means your not a team player, we dont pay overtime, EVER!. a social life is for wimps and quitters
Office Comunication: communication is the key to being sucessful: avoid comunicating with fellow team members and other departments as much as possible, you dont want someone else taking credit for your great idea
Planning: thats someone elses job, we cant remember who they are and if there still employed with us
Customer communication: the customers are a pain in the arse, avoid talking to them as much as possible, they do understand that we are busy and will happly wait for us to come out of our secret meetings
Client Communications: we love the clients, but never tell them that we have other clients we are seeing on the side, its always entertaining when they meet up.
If the client asks for something tell them yes, then go on holiday for a week, come back and let it hit the fan as its too late to do it
New Employee's: I have a job, why should i give a prompt response to some new kid who is looking for some work, and if they do manage to get employed we dont need to bother with contracts, we are trust worthy and everything
Training: We think this is something about shoes
This ends the rules. if anyone asks you never saw them
ends
(im not 100% sure where that came from, but cheers isabel for the push, i'll think of you whilst drinking cocktails in florida)
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